When All Falls Apart
by volume
Summary: Snape is asked to check on the boywhoforgottodie before Harry's seventh year. What will he find? abuse,rape, slash SSHP later OOC This is a REWRITE
1. Darkness arrived

hey, I hate the way I wrote this story the first time so I'm erasing it and revamping it. Yes, there will be sudtle differences.

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Harry Potter, the-boy-who-live, or simply forgot to die, lay slumped against the wall of his cupboard. He couldn't sit up straight, let alone stand; 'besides,' he consoled himself, 'standing just makes me dizzy.' He figured that if he just sat and waited maybe someone would come for him. One of his friends? Harry couldn't remember what that word meant, but it always seemed important in a good way.

There was a rattle as someone cursed the lock. The small boy perked up for a second before he recognized his uncle. It seemed as if the small boy srunk into the wood of his prison, almost like magic. A long time ago Harry had learned how to make himself smaller. You see if he made himself smaller than there would be less of him to hit and maybe he wouldn't hurt so much. It always sounded good in his mind, but when Uncle Vernon hit, even if it was just his hand, it still sent waves of pain through his body. And then Harry would loose himself to it and would wake up in the dark.

Harry hated the dark. Sometimes, after his uncle was done, his cousin would come in and wait for Harry to wake up. That was the worst part. When he heard the breathing and felt it wisp by his cheek, that was when the bad thing happened. Harry lost that thought.

If there were someone there, they would hear the whispered words of 'no...please…no' over and over again as the little boy clutched crooked fingers to his chest, long ago broken, one by one. His uncle liked that.

Harry's Uncle finally managed with the lock. The door opened with a creak and the boy froze at the hatred that came off in waves. Vernon Dursley reached inside and grasped the boy's already broken wrist, squeezing hard. "Come out, come out," he said in a mockingly sing-song voice, " It's time to play!"

The world slowly swirled around the damned boy lying almost naked but for the few rags he still possessed. He finally caught consciousness, and then his body protested his wakefulness heartily. His chest hurt, but it always hurt so that didn't matter anymore. His upper part of his leg felt broken. 'Probably from the…' he stopped for fear of making everything more real. He pushed everything into the back of his mind. Head in the sand. Head in the sand. You can't see me.

Harry heard the darkness more than he saw it. The concept was silly really. He never trusted his eyes anymore because they never told him if he was alone or not, at least not in the cupboard. Magic could hide things from a person, but it still didn't mean it wasn't there. It was only logical then that it could show things that weren't there too, right? This was what he told himself when he saw the blurry outlines of the bottom of a black robe through one of the slim slots of the cupboard door. He wanted the reaper to come and get him, with his big black dog.

Snuffles has blue eyes.

How would you like your blue eyed boy

Mr. Death. (1)

His thoughts were interrupted as the tremor in his hands became apparent. It slowly swept through his body, quickly becoming more and more violent. His legs were kicking out against the walls of his "room." Uncle Vernon was going to be so mad at him. (I'm telling Daddy!) Cries ringing in his head. Make it stop! Make it stop!

Those thoughts were the only thing that permeated his conscious besides the pain because pain at the hands of his Uncle made the tremors of the phantom red eyes seem miniscule. Pain from his Uncle indeed was less, but the eyes didn't possess the same emotion of all-out hatred that his Uncle had when it suited him.

Still caught in the muscle locking tremors, he never saw the cupboard open nor the completely appalled look on the Potions Master's face. Only when the seizure had passed did he feel a hand supporting his head while the other seemed to be trying to keep the rest of his body from thrashing about.

Harry knew that this couldn't be real. There was no way that his Uncle would care enough to hold him while the quakes ran their course. His chest hurt more than before. Harry didn't know if it was from Vernon's ministrations or if he had hit something in the seizure. Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult. Something in his throat made a gurgling noise as he tried to rasp for more breath. He tried harder and harder. He was suffocating.

"Po-Harry, calm down. You are panicking," a familiar voice drawled as Harry tried to quell the feeling, "I'm going to give you a potion and you need to swallow it quickly, understand?" Harry nodded scarcely alert before feeling the cool glass press to his lips. He swallowed the syrupy contents quickly before feeling all of his muscles relax from the still tense position they were in just a moment before. The last thing he felt was someone lift him easily before he fell into the black void.

How could this happen? Harry Potter, of all people, kept in a space that even a mouse would have trouble living in. He never expected this kind of treatment for Dumbledore's Golden Boy. Wait, not only Dumbledore's Golden Boy, but the entire wizarding world's.

The boy had been having a seizure. Snape thought that Poppy had had those repressed or some other rubbish, now they seemed to be back with a full vengeance.

Finally, the tremors ceased and the Potions Master gently laid the boy on the floor. He didn't worry about that group of whales that were there to "welcome" him. They were currently occupied at the moment until such time that Severus or another Order member felt the need to release them.

The shallow rasps of breath shook him from his thoughts. Harry was beginning to panic. He needed to give the boy a temporary healing/relaxer potion before he could safely apparate to Hogsmeade, but the boy needed to be able to swallow it, let alone to breathe as much oxygen as he needed.

"Po-Harry, calm down. You are panicking," Severus said in the calmest tone that he could muster, "I'm going to give you a potion and you need to swallow it quickly, understand?" Without opening his eyes the boy somehow managed to nod through the stiff muscles. Severus quickly tipped the concoction into the boy's mouth making sure he swallowed without further suffocating. Harry lost consciousness soon after.

Dizzy, Dizzy, Dizzy. Harry felt so dizzy, but the sensation felt familiar somehow, like he had done it a million times before. He didn't remember though. The green lights were pretty though.

Someone held him. Harry struggled against the familiar restraint even if it came from unfamiliar arms.

"_Uncle Vernon, please. I'm sorry." Harry cried as his uncle Vernon grabbed his hands, slowly lowering them and holding them there on the angry metal stove._

"_Boy, you know the rule," he said it with a gleeful madness as his nephew's unpitied screams filled the room, "You burn my food and I burn you. Now do it again," he then added almost casually, "without oven mitts."_

_Harry stayed curled on the floor from where his uncle released him, curled around his charred hands. That was the day they threw him in the cupboard. He only came out for "playtime" after that._

"Harry, Harry listen to me," a voice finally broke through the memory of only a few weeks prior, "you are safe now. We just flooed to Hogwarts. We are almost to the infirmary."

The word 'Hogwarts' caused him to pause. He should know what this Hogwarts is. It made his insides feel slightly warm. Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hogwarts, what's a Hogwarts? Something that took his mind off pain, but was it? Pain, Pain, Pain plays a part in everything, Because all the world's a stage and the men and women merely players, chess pieces, all the men and women merely chess pieces(2). Ya, that's right. Pawns and rooks and knights and --

Something was in his throat. He couldn't breath. Harry started coughing with his hands barely making it up in time to cover his mouth. (You must always cover your mouth when you cough, my poor Dudders does not need your disease.) The blood seeped through the gaps in his broken and twisted fingers. It dripped onto his chest and the man who was holding him.

'Sorry, sorry, so sorry, didn't mean to make you bleed. I'm leaking again. Uncle will be so mad.'

"POPPY!"

Everything seemed fine from the apparition from the Dursleys to a secure Hogsmeade fireplace to the fireplace in his dungeons, but as soon as he stepped out of the fireplace towards the infirmary, the boy (he was too small and fragile looking to be a man, though Severus knew that he was of age) started to gasp and struggle in the Potions Master's loose hold.

Harry started mumbling, so Snape lowered his head to try and make it out.

"Uncle Vernon… please…sorry," whimpered the boy as he continued to struggle.

Severus tried his best to calm him. The professor was speaking words that he hoped were calming. It surprised him when the boy's eyes snapped open. A hacking cough came from his throat. His mutilated hands came to his mouth, but they could not stem the crimson that traitorously flowed through the gaps.

"POPPY" he yelled as he finally came to the doors of the infirmary, kicking them open.

The lone woman dropped all of the bandages she was transferring to a cabinet at the sight in front of her. It was the only sign of panic that showed as she deftly levitated the broken boy onto one of the beds.

Severus knew that as soon as the woman gathered her wits, she would be okay. It never surprised him how fast she could deal with situations because usually he was the patient.

With a quick scorgify the blood was gone from his and Harry's robes. A more complicated spell that sounded faintly Asian caused the blood to clear from Harry's throat, it was only a momentary relief however as it soon started again.

Poppy pailed as more and more damage came to light. That was when he knew it was bad.

Severus Snape was not by anyone termed a caring man, even Dumbledore thought this. In fact, the only reason that Snape had been to #4 Privet Drive was because the previously mentioned Headmaster had deemed it necessary to check on the boy. Snape was selected because, as Dumbledore said it, "My boy, even you need to get out of that lab sometime, get some fresh air." And of course this was all said with that despicable twinkle in his eyes.

Then, walking into the boy's house, smelling the blood one could immediately tell that something was not right. When that fat man started blabbering about how no one by the name of Harry Potter lived there, he knew the man was lying just by the hate he used to pronounce the name.

That was when the steady beating started and the man started to turn a white that would do any ghost proud. Thinking back now it reminded him of a short story by Edgar Allen Poe. The man was the only muggle author that the Potions Master cared for. Indeed, "The Tell-Tale Heart" was one of his favorites, except that this time the guilty was not the only one who could hear the thump of a beating heart, or in this case legs kicking in a seizure.

Suffice it to say that it did not take Snape long to figure out the situation, put that boy's relatives in one of Snape's favorite spells, and get the hell out of there.

And that is what brought Snape here. It had only been five days from when he had brought Harry here, and, but for the rise and fall of his heavily bandaged chest, there was no other signs of life.

Harry's hands were hidden behind thick white bandages that were liberally soaked in a strong aloe-like potion. Poppy had explained that muggle appliance burns were not affected by normal wizard healing spells, and could only be dealt with through potions. She also said that they would be very stiff and he would not be able to grip anything for at least 6-8 weeks, and even then, she said that anything thinner then a wand would be difficult to handle a while after that. His arm, shoulder, and broken wrist were easily mended, but while his femur was healed, Harry would still probably have to have a cane to lean on for a few weeks because of both the weakness of the bone and the severity of the several brakes.

Now that he was stable, they only had to worry about when and how emotionally he would be when he awoke. They only had to wait another day to see those emerald green eyes again.

_Harry had decided to go swimming with Ron and Hermione in the lake. They all changed into their swim suits and headed toward the shoreline. It did not take them long to be completely surrounded by water._

_Two faces smiled mischievously, reminiscent of the Weasley twins, and Harry knew at once that they were plotting something. Before he could figure out what, they had each grabbed a shoulder and pushed him under._

_He wasn't in the lake anymore, but in the bathtub at the Dursleys, his head at least. Harry tried to force his uncle's hands from his death-like grip on his hair, but he was so tired. The water thickened like syrup down his throat filling his lungs and stomach._

_And the struggle stopped…_

Poppy had always found that when administering a potion herself it was always quickest to put her hand over the patient's mouth and nostrils, so as to both inhibit the ability for the potion to fallout and she also found that it caused the throat to swallow immediately in hopes of gaining air.

It was a complete surprise to her when she looked down to see weak, bandaged hands bumping against her wrist in an attempt to move the impediment. Pomfrey removed her hand, looking at the still weak person in front of her.

The school nurse did not have to look up to know that the Potions Master stood up from his bed on the opposite side of the patient where he had been reading a potions journal.

The closed eyes opened into the smallest of slits. "Mr. Potter," said Madame Pomfrey with relief apparent in her voice, "welcome back," and at that the young man's eyes slipped shut once more.

Another three days had passed since Harry had last awakened. Poppy had explained to Severus and later Dumbledore, when he returned from the ministry, all of both his magical and physical power would go into the process of Harry's body as it was healing. She went on to explain that he had been malnourished for a long time and his body had to deal with "normal" amounts of vitamins, proteins, and so forth (this meant that his body would actually get these things.)

Finally, after eight long days, the boy-who-slept woke up.

With bleary eyes, the young man who had seen too much and been through more, raised his eyelids into the almost iridescent white room. The three shapes seemed to lean closer as his eyes opened. One was light blue with a silver type shadow at the top, another was purple with a long white something down the middle, and the third, the third scared him. Everything screamed darkness about this thing. The way the thing seemed to stay completely erect and the color, darkness, darkness. The reaper came for him, but he didn't want to go now! Harry needs to stay! Harry needs to stay! Harry likes the warmth!

Harry tried to move from the darkness, but something stopped him. He couldn't feel his hands. "No…please not that… Harry did not mean to… Harry's hands hurt… why he dropped the cookies… please…" By this time Harry had lost again to the memories.

The three adults looked on in shock as Harry seemed to fight a loosing battle with himself. He had beaten the great wizard Voldemort, but against the mere muggles that were his family he lost repeatedly. And then the screaming began.

It started out as a babble, the words talked of hands and dropping cookies, if the situation had not been so serious, Snape would have mocked and even taken points from the boy, but the situation was certainly different from what he associated with Potter. Babbling quickly escalated to a keening scream that shook the very minds of the people in the room with its despair and sickness, reminding each witch and wizard of the worst times in their lives.

Poppy, shaken out of her own memories, came back with a calming potion. Was the bottle shaking or her hand? It didn't matter, the potion needed to be given before the boy became even more distressed. She did not want to find out if that was even possible. She forced the potion down his screaming throat, pinching his nose and not promising air until he swallowed.

After a minute of weak struggle, the boy swallowed the draught and Poppy released her hold on the boy's face. His breath came easier as he went into an induced sleep…

It was Poppy's idea to take shifts to watch the boy. Dumbledore had him in the morning, Poppy herself had him in the afternoon, and Severus had him at night, which was where he found himself when it all started.

Severus just started to nod off when there was a light thud and a gasp. Snape was immediately on guard when he opened his eyes to find the bed empty. Heavy breathing came from the other side. Severus leaned over to see what had happened. He rushed over hurriedly to look at the boy, either shivering or trembling, he could not tell which.

Severus quickly and gently held Harry's head and tried to keep harm from falling on the boy's already delicate body. This one now appeared to be a full seizure, Severus had no doubt. At that, it was his second seizure in less than two weeks, the first being the day he was taken from that place. This one seemed to last longer then the other. The boy was on the cusp of regaining control when Poppy literally ran in.

"Seizure," Snape quickly explained at her worried stare.

The woman briskly walked over to the potions cabinet pulling out a much stronger muscle relaxer then the one that Severus had previously used. She deftly handed it to Severus in complete trust and he took it.

"Harry," Severus said in a tone that Poppy had never heard from the supposed Evil Potions Master of Hogwarts, "try to concentrate on my voice, okay? I'm going to give you something to make the pain go away, but I'm going to have to open your mouth," he said this while in the act of doing that and then he poured the midnight blue concoction down his throat, "Can you swallow for me?" again the supposed evil git helped him by gently massaging the young man's throat.

The potion seemed to work almost instantaneously as the few muscles Harry had managed to keep went from frozen to almost completely limp. The boy's weak, scraping gasps for breath reverberated through out the large empty hospital room.

Harry's eyes seemed to jump around in their sockets, like one Alastor Moody, before they settled somewhere between the present and the past. "Uncle Vernon, Harry is sorry…didn't mean to wake…" the garbled words slowly became louder and more urgent "…No Please Uncle- no-No-NO" the last few words were the screams of every fear echoed in the world.

That was when Poppy came in, knowing that Severus knew nothing of this area, at least she thought. Poppy held the whimpering and screaming boy in her arms, gently rocking back and forth whispering calming words into his ears. After what seemed an eternity the pleas for this Uncle Vernon to stop, finished leaving an exhausted and freely crying child on the floor with a potions master and school nurse watching all the while for anymore signs of distress.

Minutes later the boy was sound asleep of his own accord, both the Professor and nurse afraid of leading Harry into dependency of the sleeping potion as it was highly addictive.

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(1) poem by E.E. Cummings "Buffalo Bill"

(2) poem by shakespeare, anyone tells me the title gets a harty pat on the back.


	2. No seeking

Later that night, the two adults met in Dumbledore's office to discuss Harry's predicament.

Poppy looked at the tired and somewhat haggard Headmaster all twinkles missing from his dull water blue eyes as they talked of their main worry. Poppy began saying, "Albus, I have done all I can for him physically, his hands and leg will take time, but I am most worried about his mental sickness. I just don't know what is wrong. His mind can never place him in the present. It always lingers back in that…that house."

The Headmaster considered what Poppy said for several moments before turning to Snape. "Severus, your manor is located in Southern England, is it not?" Snape just nodded his head, not caring for the path that Albus's thoughts were taking.

"Is it possible to take him there for his recovery? School starts in two weeks, and I don't want Harry to be overwhelmed while still recovering, and it may give you a chance to do that research that you are forever talking about." Snape silently thought that it would hide the boy from the numerous paparazzi that would probably end up hammering on the front gates, despicable creatures, reporters.

"Albus," Snape said instead, "What of my classes?"

"Well, Severus we may be able to find someone, but first do you have any possible candidates?"

"Sir, I believe I do," said Severus as he strode to the door, stopping with his hand on the knob, "And one more matter. Someone should probably go check on that boy's relatives, they seemed to have slipped my mind." He was out the door even before the Headmaster had that grim smile on his face.

"Indeed Severus," was all he whispered after Madame Pomfrey left.

It didn't take long for Severus to make arrangements to return to his wayward home. Really, all he had to do was inform the house elves that he was arriving and the conditions of his "guest."

Harry's conditions hadn't really changed all that much over the past few days. He stayed awake longer, if only by an hour or so, but the dreams only left him for a few moments after awakening. The bright green eyes would clear of rolling dreams for almost a minute before they returned like a storm on the seas. The most significant difference in Harry's dreams was that he didn't scream anymore, but whimpered and shrunk into whatever hard surface was at his back.

The main thing he did though was sleep.

Poppy and Severus decided that on the day Harry was to be transferred, they would give him the dreamless sleep potion, if only because they did not want him to wake up in the floo.

Finally, on late Friday night a week before the start of term Severus took Harry to Snape Manor. Many of the wards where similar if not the same as the ones of Hogwarts. Severus had one that Hogwarts didn't have though. While at Hogwarts there were a few fireplaces connected to the floo network, namely his, Dumbledore's, and McGonagall's,

Severus had created a room that acted as a fireplace that would only let you in if a person with you knew the password and was accompanied by the master of the manor, or if you had Snape blood. All of the fireplaces could let people out except for five of the guest rooms, but none had two way access. The only one that could play host to floo calls was the fireplace in his secondary parlor. As he thought of these precautions, he patted himself on the back.

With the boy in a comatose like state in his arms , he walked form the floo room after speaking the password that only Albus, as his secret keeper, knew.

As soon as he stepped through, a house elf stepped forward, eagerly awaiting Severus's command.

"Mintle, please show me to the room that you have prepared for Mr. Potter," he said back in the usual acidic politeness. The elf eagerly nodded her head, walking forward and continually looking behind at the boy and her master.

"Here we are, Master Severus. Mintle is hoping Master Severus is approving sir," Mintle kept her head bowed in the servility that Severus's father expected of every lower being, even his own son.

"Mintle, it is fine. Please have dinner prepared and brought up within the hour," Severus said seemingly very tired suddenly.

"Of course, master Snape,' and with a small POP she was gone.

The room really was quite lovely with cream and blue reflected on the walls and bed. He gently lowered Harry onto the large four poster bed thinking sadly as he adjusted the covers around the too thin young man.

He never hated the person in front of him. Indeed, Severus only tried to keep up his supposed identity to the people in his care in Slytherin House. Severus knew that sometimes he played his role a little too well, but he had never caused harm on another living person. It was the main reason that he ended up spying for Dumbledore. Severus's father had forced him into becoming a Death Eater over the Winter Hols in his seventh year, and Severus just didn't want to hurt anyone so he went to the Headmaster instead. He had never regretted that decision, not even when Voldemort had used the crucius on him over and over for not torturing that little girl. He still remembered the child's eyes when Lucius happily stole her innocence while he lay panting and frozen on the ground.

It came down to one simple thing. There were two people in this world that Severus felt that he owed something to, one was the Headmaster and the other was the man lying quietly in bed. It was why he hadn't really argued with Dumbledore, Harry deserved more. Harry freed him from his obligations of spying.

Harry? When had that happened? Severus looked down as he heard a rustle of bed cloths. He saw Harry's green eyed wonder as he stared at his heavily bandaged hands.

"Harry, Harry can you hear me?" Severus said looking down at the boy. There were no sounds from the boy, just the mute starring at his hand. Severus tried again to no avail. He finally gave up and reached for Harry's shoulder.

Harry didn't know where the hell he was. First he was in the dark. He hated the dark. Bad things happened in the dark, and he wasn't in the dark anymore. Darkness was bad. The bad thing happened in the dark and he didn't like it.Then he was in a place so white that he felt blind. It was not much better then the dark, that place, but then he woke up here. Where was here? At least the white place seemed slightly familiar, but he didn't think that he had ever been here before. The air was different. The smell was different. The white place smelt like the dark place. In both places the air was ripe with disinfectant. This place smelt different though. He couldn't put a name on it.

He tried to move his hands, but they hurt so bad. He didn't want to hurt anymore. He looked at his hands for the first time, then. Why were they so white and bulky? He brought one closer to his face, for some reason everything was blurry. He couldn't remember why.

And then Uncle Vernon touched his shoulder.He knew he had done something wrong. Just staying in bed when Uncle Vernon knew he was up was very bad. What if Uncle Vernon brought Dudley with him. He could not let that happen again. Nope no, he would not let thatt happen again. Hurts to much so it wasn't going to happen again. Not again. He would not let the dark become the blue, the dark was enough. Duddly and uNcle would not hurt him again. He would hide. Yes, Yes! Harry was going to hide. Hide and seek. Not found. Bad things would happen so no finding only hiding from the bad thing. Yes, time to hide, but no skipping the numbers because that would be bad, but not as bad as the bad thing, that's why Harry is going to hide. Harry hiding from the bad thing. One two skip a few ninety-nine ONE HUNDRED, but Harry needs to hide first!

He slowly made his way on his knees and elbows to the other side of the bed. When he got to the edge, he swung his shaky legs over before he touched them to the floor… where they immediately collapsed under his slight weight.

Before he passed into unconsciousness he had one thought,

**A bullet had found him  
His blood ran as he cried  
No money could save him  
So he laid down and he died (1)**

Severus caught him right before his head hit the floor.

Severus lifted the small youth with no effort and put him back into the spot that he had vacated just moments before. He knew without the feeling that the floor was frigid, and it gave him an idea.

Mintle came with a POP right as he made himself comfortable in his seat. "Master Snape, dinner is ready sir." Snape nodded in exceptance, and watched the little elf set up the feast for one and then fidget with her pillowcase.

"What is it?" Snape said with a touch of inpatients in his voice.

"W-Well sir, we is not knowing what to get for him sir," she said looking down at the pale tan and grey stone floor.

"Mintle, he will require a nutrient potion from my private stock and also please bring a few thick throw rugs for this floor. I would also like my rooms to be made across the hall. Is that clear?" Snape used the tone that he used for one of his decent potions students. It was not quite friendly but it wasn't as cold as it could be.

"Right away, Master Snape," and with a POP she was gone again. A second later a much softer pop was heard and three identical rugs were around the bed. They also fit the blue and cream color scheme.

When she was gone Snape sat down gracefully. If it were anyone else, it would look like a collapse, but this was a man from an old traditional family, a Snape. He looked at the enticing food in front of him, and began to pick at it. 'Harry, what am I going to do with you?' he thought. His attention was drawn away from the barely touched meal to the figure on the bed.

His attention was taken again when another POP was heard and the elf reappeared with a device resembling an I.V., but with a thick greenish liquid instead of the usual clear stuff. Mintle looked at Snape who said, "That will be all," and with a quick POP she was once again gone.

Severus closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to relieve himself of the ever-present headache. After a minute or so he slowly stood from his chair, and went over to the I.V. on the long metal poll. He picked up the already sterile needle and gave it a quick scourgify. 'Just in case' he thought wearily. Severus made sure that the house elves only kept sterile needles at the Manor, but it never hurt to make sure.

With a slow practiced motion, he straightened Harry's arm, careful to not joggle his hand, and swabbed the skin that protruded just a little over the thick vein; carefully he inserted the catheter a second later.

A soft hiss of breath was the only sign of the tension. Severus then put a special type of tape used mainly in wizarding hospitals over it; the tape didn't allow the patent to remove it, intentionally or not. Severus then inserted the plastic tube into the open end of the catheter and the other onto a potions' bag attached to the metal poll. Using a levitation spell would just be a waste of energy if a simple muggle contraption worked easier. He watched as the murky liquid languidly made its way down the long thin tube then disappear through the needle then into the young man's arm.

Severus sat down again, for the most part ignoring the still hot food in front of him. The potions Master thought that he remembered a book in his private library that would help with the matter of Harry's mental distress, so he left for his private office on the third floor. It would only take a moment.

The book was called Legillimatics: Healing through Invasion. Severus didn't know if it would work, having never done it before, but he knew he should at least try. His private library was located behind a rather large tapestry of a python in his personal study. To anyone who didn't know that it was there, it looked like the rest of the pale cream walls, but to Severus there was a door handle attached to one side of a particularly large stone.

With a quick pull the door slid open easily. The room was about the size of the Slytherin common room which was to say, quite large, but he didn't he even walk into the hidden room. He accioed the book and left hurriedly.

When he returned to Harry's room, he found his younger charge looking wide eyed around the room, eyes darting quickly around without really seeing anything. His scarred back was pressed flat against the headboard. Harry didn't seem to register the slight movements Severus was making. The older man slowly lowered his tall frame onto the once occupied chair.

Severus decided to at least try to converse with Harry, even if he was ignored, "So Harry, how was your nap?" Harry's eyes continued to snap around the room as his face continued to be ruled by all the painful emotions, sadness and hurt predominate. Severus tried again, "Harry, can you hear me? Just show me in some way that you can," still there was no change, not even in his breathing patterns. "O.K. Harry I will be right here if you need anything." With one more look at the young man broken on the bed, Severus opened his book and began to read of similar cases.

Severus had read the book cover to cover multiple times before he finally consulted Dumbledore. The old man had agreed immediately. Severus had declined any help, hoping to get as few people involved as possible.

His idea was that legillimatics would be used to help take down the barriers that had built themselves up within Harry's mind. A person used legillimatics to almost invade the other person's mind and help force the other person out. It was one of the reasons why so many people did not think it was legal, though it was, because it came to the point where the person performing legillimatics could control their actions if the disabled were not strong enough. That would not happen to Harry though because Severus wouldn't let it.

After the forth day of Harry's stay at the manner with no mental change Snape performed legillimatics.

Severus would forever remember what happened when he went into Harry's mind.

He knew what he would see would be bad, but he never guessed the extent. He arrived at a warped version of Privet Drive. Only one house stood, the rest were merely burnt skeletons of their former normalcy. The paint on the house in front of him, number 4, was almost brown with age and peeled in long strips, and the walls that still surprisingly stood erect were riddled with cracks, and more then a few pieces of wall were missing completely. The only firm looking part was the front door of the house. All of the windows were either cracked or broken completely with sharp shards of glass threatening to cut anything. A lawn once green was now brown and dead with age, overgrown; it was up to Severus's knees. Screams seemed to perpetuate within the dead house, giving it a voice to the picture.

Severus approached the house feeling as if he were walking through mud. The screams stopped as he came to stand in front of the door, followed by a loud thud. Severus pushed with all of his strength and the door slowly, unwillingly opened to him. It revealed a hallway with the same layout as the real #4 privet drive except the colors were dulled and even the white walls appeared grey. He forced his mind to take him to the cupboard under the stairs where he knew Harry had been kept in real life. Multiple locks protruded from the small door and once again he wondered how someone could live in something so small. He used his magic to open all six of the padlocks. Compared to the front door,they opened easily with a creak of rusted hinges. Everything was so surreal, from the way the darkness of the room seemed to swallow up a younger form of Harry Potter to the way blood was smeared across the walls and slowly dripped to the floor.

This was the one thing that Harry had to do by himself. He had to get out of the cupboard by himself becausehe knew that no matter how hard he pushed he would not be allowed in.

He watched the 5 year old version of Harry rock back and forth in the corner. His eyes closed and his whimpers permeated the darkness.

"Harry?" Severus called softly without any negative emotion feeding into his voice.

"Unca V-Vernon, I-I sssorry, p-please don't hurt anymore," The whimpers began and the Potions Master felt his heart brake in two. Harry deserved better than this.

"Harry, I'm not your Uncle. I've come to take you away. Can you walk toward me?" Severus asked looking at the boy who had stopped rocking and slowly blinked his eyes owlishly.

Harry appeared to look through him as he spoke, " I c-can't , i-it hurts."

"Harry, you have to try. Don't you want to come outside with me?" Severus asked, trying to persuade the boy.

"I-I ccan't go out. Unca Ver-Vernon will be mad. Hur-hurts when mad," said the child.

"Harry I have come to take you away from your Uncle. No one is going to hurt you anymore. Please, just try and come out," said Severus from outside the door.

"Sure? I d-don't want thehurt anymore." Severus nodded his head.

The boy slowly crawled on his elbows and knees, grimacing the entire way. When he reached the door, Severus gently picked him up and carried him through the front door. Everything dissolved.

Severus slowly opened his eyes and felt the stiffness in his whole body. He stood up from the chair to the left side of Harry's bed, never at any time taking his eyes from the peacefully sleeping boy. Harry made no sound of distress, but slept without conflict for the first time back to the wizarding world.

"Now all that is left is for you to wake up Harry."

* * *

Heslowly opened his eyes, unforced by someone yelling at him to get up. For some reason he felt rather than knew that he would never see his "family" again. He was safe here, that was different. He hadn't felt safe since…he couldn't remember. Something, someone stood from the chair and stood by his bed. He squinted to try and discern features. It got better, but not by much. 

The laughter lightened the sarcasm of the deep smooth voice as the figure spoke, "Harry, don't squint. Your vision is bad enough as it is." A chuckle followed the statement.

The voice tugged at his memory, but he couldn't place it. "Wh-who are you?" he asked in an unused(willingly) voice to the not so-much-a-stranger stranger.

His glasses where pushed onto his nose, and everything came into sharp focus. The man before him was tall with shoulder length midnight black hair. It shined with health. The deep onyx eyes were set in a decidedly handsome face. His skin was a pale ivory color that was a nice contrast between his hair. His nose looked as if it had been broken but the slight curve only served to make him look more like a Roman god."I am Professor Snape, Potions Professor at Hogwarts, but while here I would prefer that you call me Severus." There was a pause for a moment, 'Don't you remember, Harry?" the boy slowly shook his head and then winced as his muscles complained after not moving for so long. Severus continued, a worried look flashed across his face that Harry couldn't pick up, "You go to school with Mr. Ron Weasley and Ms. Hermione Granger. What is the last thing you remember?" Severus asked curiously, hoping that it wasn't what he thought it was.

"Um, U-Uncle Ver,Vernon was, he was over me…put his… in my… in the darkness" Harry was starting to delve back into his old memories and Severus silently cursed his stupidity. He tried to bring Harry out of it.

"Harry, listen to me. That's right, focus on me," Severus slowly gained his attention, "You have my word that you will never have to go back there. You can stay here for as long as you need. Harry, I won't let your Uncle near you again." Harry nodded stiffly.

"In the mean time, would you like the house elves to get you anything?" Severus asked trying to get Harry away from his thoughts.

"Can, can I, I can't take a bath, can I?" Harry asked. He felt like filth had taken permanent residence ever since…then.

'Of course. I'll get Brink to do it for you. Brink!" with a POP the elf in a clean and pressed pillow case appeared. It had a crest over the left breast that Harry assumed was Severus's family crest.

"You called sir?" asked the elf in his squeaky voice.

"Yes, Brink this is Mr. Potter he will be staying with us, and would like a bath. Could you also ask Mintle to contact Professor Dumbledore, and say that Mr. Potter is awake. That is all." The elf disappeared with another POP.

It only took a minute for the elf to return. "The bath is ready, Master Snape, and Mintle has contacted the Professor. He says that "He trusts you to make the right decisions concerning Mr. Potter, sir."

"Thank you Brink, that will be all," again the elf disappeared with a POP.

When the elf was gone Severus turned to find Harry looking down at the covers. "Do you need any help?" Severus asked.

Harry blushed profusely before stuttering out, "I, um, don't know," he finally managed.

"I will take that as a yes then," he said as he pulled back the younger man's covers to see the standard Hogwarts hospital pajamas. Severus helped theteen to his feet. Severus gripped Harry's elbows as the boy leaned into him heavily.

After the first few steps, Harry was gasping for breath with every fiber in his body protesting, especially his leg. Beginning to see dark spots, he was stopped from taking another step by the Potions Professor picking his up completely and swiftly moving to the large bathroom connecting to the bedroom. It only took Severus a moment to place Harry on the large window seat.

The Potions Master watched in amusement as Harry's eyes got bigger behind his glasses. The bathroom was done in white with silver fixtures accenting the pearly marble. It was bigger then even the prefects' bathroom. Wait, he remembered something.

"Sir, what is Prefect?" Harry asked he remembered going into their bathroom with a giant gold egg. Weird.

"Ah, Harry it is Severus. A Prefect is sort of like a leader of their house. Why, did you remember something?" the Potions Master asked curiously. Harry nodded slowly.

"I was in their bathroom for some reason, with a golden egg. Weird, hu?" Harry looked at the man before him.

"That was during your fourth year, I believe, during the Tri-Wizard Tournament.It's good that you are starting to remember again. Now how about that bath because you really need one." Harry chuckled and nodded enthusiastically.

Harry blushed and looked decidedly uncomfortable when Severus helped him stand and began taking off the boys cloths.

"Ple- Please, Please st-stop" Severus heard the oh so faint words, and would have probably dismissed them for the wind, but then realized that Harry was shaking like a leaf.

"Harry, are you okay? I just wanted to remove your cloths because of the buttons. You won't be able to use your hands for a while because of the burns." Severus whispered these words to the young man still shaking. "I can get one of the elves to help you, if you would like," Harry shook his head no in response.

Severus quickly removed the rest of the young man's cloths, surprised in spite of himself by the anorexic look the teen's body detained. Severus carefully helped the young man into the sunk-in tub, and cast a monitoring charm on Harry, just in case. He then left the young man to soak after telling the Harry to call him when he wanted help getting out.

* * *

(1) Emerson, Lake and Palmer 


	3. nightmare catcher

Harry closed his eyes with a sigh as the almost uncomfortably hot water seeped into his skin, easing the aches of his body. He nodded slightly when Severus told him to call when he was ready to come out.

The bandages around Harry's hands were spelled to not warp with water, so he didn't have to worry about that when he let his arms sink down into the tub with the rest of his body. He was able to stretch out completely in the extremely large tub, and for that Harry was grateful. Like all wizarding bathtubs, he didn't have to worry about the scrubbing or soap because the bath took care of that on its own. He knew just by the way that Severus went around the subject of his hands that he wouldn't be able to use them for a while. Despite the heat of the water, a chill passed down his spine as he shied away from the memory of his hands.

He felt the muscles in his arms spasm, the pain already shooting below the bandages. Before he could call for help, he slipped under the water. He took in water as he gasped at the memory…

Harry didn't hear the door open or the running steps to the tub. He didn't feel the strong arms pulling him out of the tub or the hand on his back almost pushing the water from his lungs. He only saw the figure in the black cloak with the white beaded skin; heard only the hiss of the green curse and felt the heat of the thing as he dove to avoid it. He remembered the same curse roll from his tongue and wand to hit the beast like thing in the chest.

He remembered his disgust with kissing Cho and how it caused only bad stirrings in his stomach, and joking with Ron in 6th year about the reasons why. Harry remembered how Severus acted after he defeated Voldemort and then how the Potions Master had changed during class; Harry could actually see the act now in his mind's eye.

Just when he touched on his relatives he heard the same calm voice that he was beginning to expect to be there when he woke up. He felt his muscles relax as he swallowed the concoction, and heard the sigh of relief as his eyes opened.

Glasses were pushed onto his face. The bedroom swam into view. He was lying under the covers and blushed when he realized that he wasn't wearing anything.

His throat felt raw and his voice didn't sound much better when he said, "I-I'm sorry Professor. I t-tried to call, but-but it was too, too late." With a small sob/sigh he began again, "I remember now, Voldemort, Ron, Hermione…You." Severus looked up sharply at that last bit.

Thinking quickly the professor said, "Harry, this is the second time I have asked you. Please call me Severus," if Harry had been expecting anything, it certainly would not have been that. A small smile began to appear on his face, and he slowly nodded.

Becoming a little more serious, Severus said, "Harry, I hope you realize that I was only pretending to act that way," when Harry nodded slowly, he continued, "I needed to keep up appearances of being a Death Eater. If I had been anything but vastly unfair then I would be dead right now. I'm sorry."

Harry nodded and then blushed as he looked at the handsome man. Severus noticed. "Are you okay? Too hot, I can bring you some water or get rid of the blankets or…"

Harry was touched by the Potions Master's concern and thankfully grasped at the excuse provided, "I'm just a little hot. Don't worry yourself over it. I'm fine." Severus didn't look too sure.

"Mintle!" Severus snapped, and was soon answered.

"Master Snape would like something?" the elf asked.

"Yes, please go get two strawberry milkshakes from Madame's Ice Cream Parlor in Diagon Ally. Tell her to put it on my tab." Severus said politely, much to Harry's and even the elf's surprise.

"Right away, Master Snape," the elf replied and POP, she was gone.

Severus turned around to look at a very perplexed Harry. Severus noted this with amusement. "You look confused," he said to the younger man in bed.

"Um, what's a milkshake?" Harry asked, not used to sweets outside of Hogwarts, and they didn't serve ice cream there.

"Hmm, I guess you will have to wait and see," Severus said with a laugh at Harry's indignant face.

When Mintle came back with the treats, Harry watched as Severus drank a bit of his, and then Harry took a tentative sip of his own. He was surprised to find that it was rather good. He enjoyed it while Severus and he played a game of wizard's chess. Harry lost, by more than what was decent. Ron, after all, was his best friend.

As Severus was putting away the board Harry asked, "Can I go outside when I am better? I haven't been outside in so long…not since Hedwig was burned." Severus barely heard the last part of Harry's statement, and as such thought he heard wrong.

"Harry, what did you say happened to Hedwig?" Severus was beginning to feel sickness creep into his stomach.

Harry said in a whisper, "Nothing, Sir," one look from Severus made him revise his story, "They burned everything. My robes, wand, photos…Hedwig. They hurt her so that she couldn't fly. And they made me watch, and everything was burning. They laughed when I tried to get her, and my hands started to hurt and the neighbors didn't do anything, but they kept laughing, and Hedwig wasn't white anymore and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't I couldn't" Harry was crying by now. Great heart wrenching sobs burst from his throat. The Potions Master was boiling with rage. If Dumbledore hadn't thrown the Dursleys in Azkaban, Severus had no doubt that they would all be dead by now and not quick either.

Severus pulled the young man who was far too old into a tight embrace, trying to resist the urge to brake down himself, disgusting muggles. Severus was going to give Harry someone else to love. He didn't know where that idea had come from, but he felt the stirrings of warmth in his abdomen as he looked into the tear-bright emerald green eyes of the teen he held in his arms.

When the young man had finally cried himself to sleep, Severus gently released himself. He had to contact Albus. Notifying Brink to keep an eye on Harry until he returned, Severus left for his private office.

Severus stuck his head in the green flames and said in a clear voice, "Headmaster's office of Hogwarts, sugar quills." He felt the familiar spin and then his head appeared in Dumbledore's office.

"Albus, I would like a few words." Snape said, back to his chilly demeanor. He could tell that Albus wasn't fooled by his act. The twinkle in his eyes had come back in full force

"Of course, my boy. How can I help?" said the wizened old man, "I hear that Harry is starting to come around, yes?" Severus nodded his head. It bobbed in the fireplace.

"Yes, I have been meaning to ask you to send Poppy over so she may give him a check up, and maybe watch out for him for a little while. I need to purchase some things and do not wish to leave him alone."

Albus nodded his head at the request and then asked, "Is there something else Severus?" the man once again nodded his head slowly.

"I need you to contact the Weasleys and ask them to gather up pictures of Harry, James, and Lilly, past and present." The headmaster looked perplexed for a moment.

"What happened?" the twinkle once again gone.

Severus shuddered, an action that Albus noted. "They burned everything," Severus looked at the headmaster and did not have the will power to hide his emotions, "Albus they even burned his familiar. And the burns from his hands were not only from the stove."

Albus just nodded, not trusting his voice. The room was silent for more than a few minutes before he trusted himself to speak, "I will send Poppy over tomorrow, classes will be starting the day after, so it would be a little difficult to send her later, but we will figure out something."

Severus gave a curt nod and the disappeared from the flame before the headmaster could see the tears in his eyes. They echoed the headmaster's own.

Severus returned from the fireplace and hastily blinked his eyes. After all of the terrible things that he had seen, why did this one person affect him so much?

With a sigh, he rubbed his face with his hands, and began the walk down to his rooms. He would peak in on Harry before he finally got some sleep. The day was finally starting to wear on him as he plodded down the stairs.

One small check of Harry showed him to be still sleeping. Severus walked into his own room, stripped to his boxers, and then followed suit.

Severus did not wake up until 8:00am the next day. He woke to Brink almost shouting his name.

"Master Snape, Master Snape!" said the elf as he started jumping on the bed, "Master Potter is calling for Master Snape." That was all it took for the slightly grumbling man to get up and get dressed quickly. He was out of the room in under a minute.

Severus walked rapidly across the hall to see what the problem was. He walked over to Harry's bed to find the young man pressed against the headboard with the covers drawled up to his chin. "Harry, I'm here," was all he said to the boy, who, with sound of his voice slowly shrugged off the covers around his body.

"I woke up, and you weren't here," was all Harry said of his actions. He looked down at the sheets pooled at his waist. "Sorry for waking you," he mumbled.

"Think nothing of it. Would you care for some breakfast?" Harry just shrugged his shoulders in response, he was never hungry anymore, "I'll make that a yes then. We need you to start having regular food. Mintle!" The elf arrived a second after. "Please tell Flip to have breakfast sent up. She knows what to make." With a 'yes sir' she was gone.

Harry looked confused for a second before asking, "Sir-Severus, what do you mean regular food? What have I been on?"

Severus explained, "When you were brought back to the wizarding world, we couldn't give you regular food because we knew that your body wouldn't be able to process it, so we've been giving you a gradually stronger nutrient potion since you arrived. That is why you have a catheter in your arm," he said raising his eyebrow at the boy.

Harry thought about what he said for a minute before asking, "Then what about that shake thing?"

"I put a spell on it to thin it by half with water when you were watching me drink mine." Harry's eyes got wide as he asked, "I wonder what a real one tastes like."

Severus had the nerve to laugh.

Poppy's visit that day went without major incident. To keep Harry from panicking over the sight of his hands, both Poppy and Severus decided to give Harry a dreamless sleep potion which was probably why nothing happened.

When the bandages were removed, they revealed the claws that were the teen's hands. The muscles around the now healed bones of the fingers were still tight and caused the fingers to stay bent. When Poppy tried to straighten them, Harry let out a hiss. Needless to say, this caused Poppy to stop immediately.

"Things aren't progressing like I had hoped they would," she said with a sigh, "I'm going to go and contact a friend of mine at St.Mundgo's. She has more experience with things like this. Right now though I'm just going to show you some stretches to help Harry with when he wakes up. He needs to gain a fair bit of muscle if he wants to walk any type of distance I'm afraid." Severus wordlessly nodded, remembering the times when he had had to, for the most part, carry Harry to the bathroom.

Everything else, Poppy said, was healing well. The rest of her visit they discussed the type of food he was to eat. She said she wanted him to have the nutrient potion at least once a day, but he could SLOWLY move onto solid foods, and nothing rich. Severus tactfully forgot about the milkshake incident when asked what he had been giving him. Poppy nodded approval of it and left shortly after. She would notify him of when the other doctor would be by.

When Poppy left Severus went back up to Harry's room. He was careful not to touch Harry's rebandaged hands. When he had the light burden settled in his arms, he carried him down to one of his favorite places to think.

The outdoor porch overlooked the most beautiful gardens that Snape Manor had to offer. Today was probably one of the nicest days that England had to present yet. There were only a few puffy white clouds in the sky and the sun shown pleasantly. The day wasn't to hot or cold; everything was simply comfortable.

He put Harry down on one of the couches that sat around the deck. The dreamless sleep potion should be wearing off any moment now; Severus only had a moment to wait before he saw the young man's eyes open. He squinted until he became accustomed to the light. Severus watched as realization set in, and Harry tried to push himself up onto his elbows to get a better view. Of course, Severus helped him.

"Well, is this enough outside for you, or would you like me to take you over to that bench over there?" Severus asked with a chuckle as he noticed Harry's cheeks redden. Harry shook his head as a negative, but let Severus push pillows behind his back to help him stay at that angle.

Harry looked at Severus closely for a moment before saying quietly, "Thank you." Severus was thinking so he didn't hear what Harry said.

"Hmm?" he asked, turning to face the young man on the couch. Harry was looking down at his newly bandaged hands. He looked up at Severus's enquiry.

"Thank you," he paused to take a breath before continuing, "For taking me from the Dursleys, letting me stay here, everything," he finished looking down at his hands again.

"Harry," Severus began, "You know that what the Dursleys did, it wasn't right."

Harry nodded, but he didn't speak or look up from his lap.

"Harry, look at me." The emerald eyes slowly moved up to the Potions Master's face.

"It was not your fault, Harry. What happened to you was not your fault." The boy scrunched up his eyes and shook his head 'no.'

"Harry, listen to me. Blame the people who carried out the actions. The Dursleys should never, Never done what they did to you. It was NOT your fault." Harry finally broke down. He folded into himself and let the tears fall down his face.

Severus was there to catch them.


	4. Popcorn surgery

The Healer arrived the day school started. Harry was a little upset that Madam Pomfrey would not be able to see him for a while, but he understood that first years had a habit of getting in almost as much trouble as he did. Somebody had to look after them.

Harry had his hands examined right after breakfast. The news, while unsurprising, could have been much worse. The muscles of his hands had regenerated in a shortened form because of his in ability to straighten his fingers. While the preliminary damage had been from the fire, the most destruction came from the oven. Healer Diet explained that she could not heal the electrical burns with magic as they had vastly different basic energies. The Healer would have to do a muggle surgery to repair the muscle and then create an intensive physical therapy regime to continue the healing process.

While neither Harry or Severus were thrilled about the news both understood it could have been worse. It could always be worse.

* * *

The Healer left, leaving Severus to contemplate what to do with the remainder of the day.

"Harry have you ever seen Casablanca? I haven't seen it in awhile. It's one of favorites."

Harry looked at him a little strangely and asked, "You watch movies, Si—Severus?"

Severus smiled, "I have to admit, it is one of my guilty pleasures. It is a way to escape into normalcy, I think. Sometimes the story lines are so odd and intriguing that I can just lose myself in the story and pretend that it is real because I am never sure it could be real. I think that is why they are so attractive, losing yourself in something totally fake and real at the same time." Severus looked a little embarrassed that he spoke so genuinely about something so personally.

"What do you say Harry?" Severus asked to cover up his discomfort, "shall it be_Casablanca _or do you have your own favorite?"

"I don't know," Harry responded looking into his lap, "I have never seen a movie before."

Severus felt the boy's embarrassment at not being able to contribute to activity. "Well then we will just have to rectify the situation. We'll do the works, popcorn, soda, and rasinettes. Wizard candy is usually to distracting, what with the hopping and nasty, unexpected flavors."

His excitement worked, Harry giggled.

* * *

A/N: I am almost back track. Keep your fingers crossed. 


End file.
